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Fish^12
I like the idea of Esterberg. I do not have the energy to write a full Wikipedia article. I stole the mainpage off of Wikipedia instead. This is my Author Page!
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From today's featured article
The Stein-III reactor at rest
Stein-III reactor (pictured) is an Akiva-based electricity generating reactor, originally patented by Prometheus Labs in 1989, and developed by the SCP Foundation after the company fell into bankruptcy. It is the first Akiva based reactor and first anomalous power source to be used by the public after the Dissolution of the Veil Policy. The Stein-III reactor also features prominently in the Whole Earth Campaign organized by the Manna Charitable Foundation as part of their yearly environmentalism month, which saw great success in reducing carbon emissions in North America.
In 2027, NPR Active Reporting discovered controversial information on the development and use of the Stein-III reactors. The SCP Foundation performed Akiva experimentation on large numbers of religious artifacts and populations, specifically those that produced notable amounts of Akiva radiation during the 1990s. The artifacts were either borrowed from normalcy organizations or stolen from various religious sects, and the populations were sourced from remote Southern Christian churches. Most of these experiments are ethically dubious, violating right to privacy, right to religious freedom, and right to ownership. (Full article...)
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Did you know…
Bobsled team during initial push
- … that Cool Runnings was based on a true story of a Jamaican national bobsleigh team's debut in the 1988 Winter Olympics?
- … that American humanitarian, song-writer, and Guitar Hero avatar, Michael Jackson, sacrificed himself in order to exorcise the spirit of Niccolò Paganini in Los Angeles, California, who was challenging the local populace for their souls via a Catholic post-mortem loophole?
- … that Chaz Ambrose, the owner of Ambrose Restaurants, considers tacos to be hotdogs?
- … that Python has been named "the programming language most likely to spontaneously produce snakes" according to most airspace companies?
- … that the playwright William Shakespeare placed a curse upon his tombstone to prevent people from moving his bones, and that the National Novel Writing Month's accidental Literalization of Brave New World was causally linked to a graverobber who placed Shakespeare's skull up for auction on Gumtree?
- … that the Society against Involuntary Consumption received a study from an anonymous benefactor that shows humans on average eat ten spiders every night, and that this action appears to have evolved naturally within humans and provides supplementary zinc?
- … that The Washington Post developed a method of pseudo-omniscience, which directly contributed to the dismantling of the organization for failure to observe ethical journalism?
- … that researcher Cranny Fallen Rocks won the Nobel Prize for scientifically producing the best animated motion picture and best original soundtrack in 2025?
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In the news
Jesus Glibad'torhjux
- In competitive Rock Paper Scissors, Jesus Glibad'torhjux (pictured) pioneers the development of three brand new esoteric hand positions, each one more devastating than the last.
- PENTAGRAM formally classifies the use of dado pharmaceuticals as addictive substance abuse, and plans on criminalizing for possession.
- The last Squonk, known for being the first genetically engineered species to be kept as pets, dies from overexposure to love and attention when Wilson's Wildlife Solutions posted a fundraising video on YouTube, gaining forty million views overnight.
- Saint Francis Xavier descends upon the Basilica of San Xavier del Bac in Tuscan, Iowa to notify them of three ectoentropic sources of food, and ordered them to take these sources and "feed the poverty-driven" on the equator, distanced concentrically, placing them roughly in South America, Central Africa, and Malaysia, which, once successful, would be the single greatest humanitarian achievement in written history.
Ongoing: 3rd Annexation of Texas - Emu War II - Hurricane France - Lovelock v. Hardinger Society for Cannibals
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Recent births: Robert Downey Jr. - MEKHANE ver.22.0.2 - MechaGodKaijuZilla Robert Downey Jr. - John Green Clone#25
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On this day
Portrait of James VI
July 29: Seventh Observing Day (Daeva, 629)
- 1567 — The infant James VI (pictured) is crowned King of Scotland at Stirling.
- 1622 — First well documented instance of time travel, where Gonzalez de Gallego travels back in time from 1623 in order to warn Gonzalo de Córdoba of the advancing Mansfeld and Christian of Brunswick armies, thereby preventing the reclamation of Bergen-op-Zoom during the Thirty Years' War, which in turn sets humanity back by forty years by preventing Jean Baptiste de Leon from discovering Newton's Laws of Motion.
- 1919 — Agent Ubuntu Freeman from the American Secure Containment Initiative codifies a manual for combating memetic hazards, which begins with the famous internet meme, "shut your eye-mouths".
- 1933 — Due to the Great Depression, several bankrupt businesses attempt to influence the Dow Jones Industrial Average, successfully boosting stock market values while simultaneously forgetting the fact that no one is interacting with the stock market in any meaningful way, and thus no profit was made.
- 1988 — While the Veiled world was combating the 1988 Computer Worm, WAN was combating the first known fungal computer infection as well as the first instance of Balorn's Disease, a computer-to-human virus which contributed to the deaths of over two thousand people.
Ivan Aivazovsky (b. 1817) - Isabelle, Key Creative Director and Boss Lady of Wondertainment (b. 1846) - Benito Mussolini (b. 1883)
More anniversaries: July 28 - July 29 - July 30
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From today's featured list
The Oldest House, where the event is hosted
The Revolutionary Anart Ex-Media Critics Gallery (RAEMCG) is a triannual event held in Paris, France, with an average turnout of over seventy thousand. It is the single largest art gallery showcase, hosting over two hundred unique artists per showcase. The goal of the event is to "explore the limits of art, without regard … to the constraints of physical reality". The winner is awarded the Real Duchamp Prize, determined via a set of critics chosen by the host of the event, Ironic HANSARP. The critics are given a set of abstract criteria (e.g. "Which one do you think tastes the most like submerged rage?" which was asked during the 2023 RAEMCG), and asked to rate on a scale of five to seven, which functions similarly to the up or down vote, with the addition of an ambivalence rating. Uniquely, the ambivalence rating is more akin to a conventional down vote, as the art was simply not impactful enough to leave an impression on the critic.
The RAEMCG is exceptional in that it allows very few express limits on what is allowed to be presented as art. This has resulted in several iconic artpieces, such as Home, in which the artist, Adam Smalls, claimed the premises of The Oldest House and everything contained within as a part of his art, quoting "my perception is reality". This has also resulted in Ironic HANSARP being implicated in several crimes against humanity, among them, a live demonstration of summoning the Antichrist. (Full list...)
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Today's featured picture
The Subterranean Iberia Gateway is an Einstein-Rosen bridge found in the Madrid Metro subway system. It is famous for its conventional and low barrier of entry, accepting a single coin with a numerical value of one. It exits into a parallel universe in which global warming suddenly experienced a major turn of events, plunging the Earth into perpetual overcast and below freezing temperature. The walkway was commissioned by SAPPHIRE and built by Gavin Lime Halfacre II in 2021, and remains one of the most compelling arguments for environmentalism.
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page revision: 30, last edited: 07 Aug 2023 00:54
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