Galentine’s Day: How to love yourself | CNN (2024)

Galentine’s Day: How to love yourself | CNN (1)

For Galentine's Day, treat yourself the way you would treat a close friend you really care about.

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Who needs the pressure to pack all your love (and flowers and chocolates) into one Wednesday in February?

This is the perfect year to ditch Valentine’s Day and lean into a less pressure-filled holiday. It’s time to embrace Galentine’s Day.

Born from the ancient, mystic sitcom “Parks and Recreation,” the “Galentine’s Day” episode first aired on February 11, 2010. It features Amy Poehler’s character, Leslie, as she navigates her way through a day of love-life disappointments — in trying to set up her mother on what turns out to be a bad date and dealing with her own partner’s rude behavior. She rebels against the traditional slog of Valentine’s Day and invents a day to rejoice with her girlfriends and celebrate herself.

Smiling multiracial female friends having fun at picnic in the park - group of healthy friends having a picnic StratfordProductions/Adobe Stock Strong, steady friendships may be an asset to your physiological health, study shows

You may be one of the more than one-third of US women who aren’t partnered up. Or if you are, maybe you’re tired of being with your significant other 24/7 and would rather pretend you’re single.

Galentine’s Day, which falls on the day before Valentine’s Day, is for you.

The tradition, which has grown from a one-off TV stint to a commercially viable and widely practiced holiday, typically includes brunching with your gal pals. A copious amount of booze is generally encouraged.

Be good to yourself

Whether you are imbibing with your girlies, trying to get a minute to yourself in a full house or rocking it solo on this Valentine’s Day, it’s not a bad idea to turn inward after such a challenging few years and direct some love and tender care at yourself.

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“Loving yourself is the single most important element of having a healthy relationship,” said New York metro-based dating and relationship expert Rachel DeAlto. “Start looking at who in your life isn’t lifting you up. Of course, self-love is an inside job, but so often we let those around us affect our confidence and feelings of self-worth.”

It may be hard to love yourself on command, but you can start by imagining yourself as a separate person, according to Lauren Cook, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist, speaker and author.

“Just as you may give another person a Valentine’s day gift, write a heartfelt card, or spend quality time together, take these practices inward,” she said via email. “We often do not treat ourselves as well as we treat others and Valentine’s Day is a prime opportunity to actually think about how we can practice self-love and self-compassion.”

Senior friends walking in public park andreswd/E+/Getty Images 5 steps to a less lonely 2024

To love yourself more truly and deeply, it helps to try to unpack all those layers of social conditioning that were piled on us over a lifetime, and which strip away our ability to just love ourselves for who we are, without the judgment and doubt and self-consciousness.

“Recognize that you were born loving yourself. Babies know they are fierce and beautiful, they don’t need validation for that,” said New York-based family and relationship therapist Damon L. Jacobs.

Happy woman wearing sweater hugging herself in bedroom Westend61/Getty Images How to be kinder to yourself, according to science

To deepen your self-love, according to Jacobs, learn who you are by spending quality time by yourself and participating in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment and deepen reflection. And there’s a silver lining. “Once you’re nurturing attention and energy toward yourself on those levels, you literally become an attractive magnet for others,” he said.

Practice “unlearning” by actively focusing on your positive attributes and not the negative ones, which we so often get stuck on. That will help to retrain your brain to lean into your kinder thoughts about yourself and encourage deeper self-appreciation.

Plus, there is what Jacobs refers to as focusing on that which is “evidence-based,” or what others might consider perspective.

“Allow your feelings about yourself to be determined by the evidence of your life, not the skewed opinions of your critical voice,” Jacobs said.

Amazon The 42 best Galentine’s Day gift ideas for all your closest friends in 2024 (Courtesy CNN Underscored)

Focus on the good things you experienced, the good deeds you committed, the ways in which you helped others.

“If you want to feel love, then do loving things,” he said.

In a world that can sometimes feel sorely lacking in love and loving-kindness, there’s no better advice than that.

Allison Hope is a writer and native New Yorker who favors humor over sadness, travel over television, and coffee over sleep. This story was first published in 2021 and has been updated.

Insights, advice, suggestions, feedback and comments from experts

Introduction

As an expert in the field of self-care and personal development, I can provide you with valuable insights and information related to the concepts mentioned in this article. With my extensive knowledge and experience, I can help you understand the importance of self-love, mindfulness, and building strong relationships with others. Let's dive into the key concepts discussed in the article.

Galentine's Day

Galentine's Day is a holiday that originated from the TV show "Parks and Recreation" and is celebrated on February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day. It is a day dedicated to celebrating and appreciating the friendships between women. The tradition typically involves brunching with friends and enjoying each other's company. It's a great opportunity to show love and support for your female friends.

Self-Love and Self-Care

The article emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-care. Loving yourself is crucial for having a healthy relationship with others. It involves recognizing your worth, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is essential for overall happiness and fulfillment.

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

The article mentions a mindfulness guide that can help reduce stress and teach you how to harness it. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, without judgment. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations, and accepting them without trying to change or control them. Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance overall well-being.

Building Strong Friendships

The article highlights the importance of strong and steady friendships for our physiological health. Having supportive and meaningful relationships can positively impact our mental and physical well-being. It's important to surround yourself with friends who uplift and support you. Spending quality time with friends, engaging in activities together, and expressing gratitude for their presence can strengthen your friendships.

Practicing Self-Compassion

The article suggests practicing self-love and self-compassion. It's important to treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Recognize that you are human and that making mistakes is a part of life. Be gentle with yourself and practice self-care activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. By nurturing yourself, you become more attractive to others and can cultivate deeper connections.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Galentine's Day is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and appreciate the friendships between women. It's a day to prioritize self-love, self-care, and mindfulness. By practicing self-compassion and building strong friendships, you can enhance your overall well-being and lead a more fulfilling life. Remember to be kind to yourself and take time to nurture your own needs.

Galentine’s Day: How to love yourself | CNN (2024)
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